Nojo no Kakashi
by JibbidyCrocket
Summary: (Kakashi of the Farm) The 4'th Great Ninja war has ended. And while Kakashi Hatake has put many of his demons to rest, he now wishes for a change of pace. Perhaps some farmland his father once owned out in a secluded valley might be the change he needs. Naruto X Stardew Valley Crossover. Kakashi x Penny pairing.
1. Ch 1: Goodbye, Sharingan no Kakashi!

**I'm not Kishi, nor am I Chucklefish. I'm just a dope with a stupid idea. So here ;)**

 **Chapter 1: Goodbye, Sharingan no Kakashi!**

Kakashi Hatake was tired.

Relieved, yes. Content, somewhat. But coming out of the 4'th Great Ninja War, Kakashi was above all else, mentally and physically exhausted. While many of his past demons were finally put to rest, especially where Rin and Obito were concerned, he still felt as though he needed a drastic change in his life, and a change sometime soon.

While for civilians, the age of 31 is still quite young, for a ninja, you were an old man if you were blessed to live this long. Now, Kakashi would hardly call himself blessed, but he supposed there must have been some luck involved to get him where he currently was. He certainly felt old, the years of intense training and fighting finally seeming to catch up to him. And good merciful Lord did he feel tired.

These were the thoughts swimming in Kakashi's subconscious as he nonchalantly made his way to the Hokage Tower for a summons by Lady Tsunade. While the average ninja would be stressing over what the Hokage could possibly want, Kakashi was no ordinary ninja.

' _I need to find a new series to read. As much as I adore Icha Icha, there's only so many times a man can read through perfection. Perhaps now that the war is over some new aspiring writers may rise up. It will never match Lord Jiraiya's literature, of course, but reading something new might not be the worst thing…'_

As with his nature, Kakashi arrived to his meeting with the Hokage 2 hours late. "You're unusually early, Kakashi." Tsunade dryly noted as the silver haired man slinked into the office.

"Maa maa, Lady Hokage, I always get here as fast as I can." Kakashi replied, his tone making it unclear whether he was joking or not.

"I'm sure. Take a seat, Kakashi." Tsunade chuckled.

"Ahh." Kakashi sighed in contentment as he plopped down. "So, what can I do for you, Lady Hokage?"

"Well Kakashi, to cut right to the chase, I'd like you to be my successor, and become the Sixth Hokage."

Kakashi stiffened minutely, his usual casual demeanor going on vacation. "While that is very flattering, Lady Hokage, I hardly think I am the best candidate."

Tsunade rolled her eyes at the semantics. "Who is qualified then, Kakashi? We're a little short staffed at the moment. Shizune? Hiashi? Might Gai was on the short list, but now that he is wheelchair bound he can hardly be a choice."

Kakashi let her words soak in as he recalled the final words he received from his best friend Obito. " _You be the Sixth Hokage… Kakashi…"._ At the time, Kakashi took his friends words to heart, but now that he has had time to think… ' _I am sorry Obito, but this is not my path.'_

"You are forgetting someone, Lady Tsunade." Kakashi began after his reflections. "A certain knucklehead ninja?"

"Naruto!?" Tsunade exclaimed, clearly not expecting this answer. "Surely you're not serious, Kakashi? If we were to go on power alone, sure, but he isn't ready! He needs at least another decade to study and prepare himself mentally for the role of Hokage! He's still too young!"

Kakashi gazed out the window for a long moment before continuing. "Naruto exceeds us both in both power and morals. Sure, he's not the most strategic or smartest of the crop, but with your guidance and some help from someone like Shikamaru, he's far and away the best choice. And if you are dissuaded by his age, I believe the Kazekage is a good example to disprove that point."

"But! He could get in over his head and get himself hurt-"

"I know you care for his safety." Kakashi interjected, raising his left hand. "I do as well. But Naruto has just recently faced down Madara Uchiha, and the Mother of all Chakra and lived to tell the tale. He is more than capable of this job. Hell, with his shadow clones, he could probably be the most effective Hokage ever in terms of getting the paperwork done."

Tsunade sighed, finally realising Kakashi's points were all correct. She was curious about one thing though. "And what of you? Why are you so adamant about someone else being Hokage?"

"Besides truly believing Naruto deserves it?" Kakashi stood up and turned away from Tsunade. "Because I have been thinking of retiring from the shinobi life. I'm tired, Lady Tsunade. So very tired. I think it's time for a new beginning for myself. I believe I may leave the village."

"Retire!?" Tsuande shouted, once again surprised at how this meeting had gone. "But you're one of the best ninja we have! You leaving would be a huge loss! And where would you even go?"

"Lady Tsunade, the Five Shinobi Nations are finally entering an era of true peace. A peace that Naruto is sure to help maintain. At the current moment I do not think you need to worry about military strength. I will not be sorely missed. And as to where I am going? Well, a few months back I found an old box of documents that belonged to my father. In the box was a deed to a sizable piece of farm land in a remote valley by a small town. I have been contemplating moving there. And I believe now my choice is clear."

"I see." Tsunade, once again not finding much fault with Kakashi's argument, simply sighed and grabbed a bottle of sake. "Well, I understand how much you have been through Kakashi, and so I want you to know I won't hold any ill will if you leave us. I'd be a hypocrite if I did that." She chuckled dryly, downing all her sake, before continuing. "Your points concerning Naruto hold merit. I will call him here soon to have him become the Hokage-Designate. I'll have him shadow me for a year or two before he takes the title though."

"A wise decision. And thank you, Lady Hokage." Kakashi turned back to Tsunade briefly to give one of his patented eye smiles before turning back to leave the office.

"One more thing Kakashi!" Tsunade called out as Kakashi opened the door. "What's the name of this place where Sakumo owned land? I don't believe we ever had any record of that."

"Ah, that's odd." Kakashi mused, taking the deed out of his pocket to read. "It's called Stardew Valley."

 **Nojo no Kakashi**

A day had passed since Kakashi's meeting with Tsunade, and with a new resolve, the Copy Ninja began to pack his essentials for his journey to his new life. And by essentials, Kakashi of course packed up every _Icha Icha_ every released, both the hard and soft cover editions.

As he continued to pack, someone began furiously knocking on his door. ' _I wonder who this could possibly be.'_ Kakashi thought to himself dryly as he went to answer the door. As expected, a yellow and orange blur dashed into his apartment in a flash, quickly sucking the air right out of the room.

"Kakashi-Sensei! Kakashi-Sensei! Guess what!?" Naruto shouted, hopping on the couch in excitement.

"Tsunade named you the Sixth Hokage-Designate." Kakashi replied evenly, trying not to get upset about the dirt Naruto was tracking everywhere.

Naruto stopped dead and stared at Kakashi incredulously. "Yeah, how did you know that?"

"Just a lucky guess. Well in anycase, congratulations Naruto, I'm very proud of you. Want some miso soup? I need to use this up soon or else it's going into the garbage." Kakashi motioned to the now sparse kitchen.

"Nah, I just had ramen, I'm good!" Naruto gave a foxy grin as he hopped off the couch. He gave the apartment a proper scan before frowning. "You moving Kakashi-Sensei? You getting a bigger place?"

"Something like that." Kakashi sighed, dreading this impending conversation. One of Kakashi Hatake's many flaws was he absolutely hated goodbyes, especially with people he considered close. "Naruto, I'm moving outside the village to some farmland my father owned."

Kakashi flinched at the gaze Naruto was now directing at him. Eventually he replied quite loudly. "Just after we get Sasuke back, you're leaving! What the heck, Kakashi-Sensei, what's the big idea!"

"This is nothing like when Sasuke left the village." Kakashi asserted firmly, knocking Naruto off his soapbox. "I am honourably retiring and moving to start a new life. Who knows, maybe I'll become a world-class farmer."

"But… But… But…"

"Please respect my decision Naruto. I am tired. Very tired. I can't do the shinobi life anymore, I need a big change, and start anew. I will miss you, Sakura, and Sasuke greatly, but this is something I need to do. And hey, you can visit whenever, the valley I'm moving too is not too far south of Mount Myoboku." Kakashi put an awkward hand on his student's back, trying his best to act comforting.

After sniffing back some tears, Naruto jumped at Kakashi, giving him a bone crushing hug. "Alright, Kakashi-Sensei! I'll miss you a lot, but it'll be okay, dattebayo!"

"It will be, and you will make a splendid Hokage, Naruto. I promise to be there on your inauguration day, so make sure to keep me updated, alright?" Kakashi eye smiled, glad this hadn't been a total disaster.

"Right! Thanks, Kakashi-Sensei, for everything!"

"You are welcome. Now, I suppose I should go see a certain Uchiha and Haruno. I plan to head out tomorrow morning." Kakashi stepped back away from Naruto to give him some space to collect himself.

"You have to say bye to everyone Kakashi-Sensei! I know Sasuke is still locked up, but I'll gather everyone at the gates tomorrow to send you off. It'll be great, dattebayo!" Naruto cheered, slowly going back to his normal self.

"Now, I don't think that's necessary, I'd rather not make a big scene." Kakashi countered, really keen on not having some big over the top farewell party.

"Nonsense, Kakashi-Sensei! I'll make sure everyone in the village is there! Just make sure you say bye to Sasuke, because I don't think I can get him out of jail just yet!" Before Kakashi could argue, Naruto dashed out of the apartment, the air finally returning.

"Maa maa, I guess I shouldn't have expected any less from Naruto." Kakashi conceded, going back to packing.

 **Nojo no Kakashi**

"Uchiha! You have a visitor!" Ibiki warned before opening the door of Sasuke's cell to allow the visitor to enter. With his eyes currently blinded, Sasuke could only make a guess as to who it was.

"Naruto or Sakura, which is it?" Sasuke grumbled.

"Neither, it's me." Kakashi replied, taking a seat on the cold bench next to Sasuke.

"What are you doing here, Kakashi?" Sasuke questioned.

"Just wanted to check in on my cute little Genin." Kakashi smirked, knowing he got under Sasuke's skin. "And also to tell you I'm leaving Konoha, most likely permanently, and I wanted to say goodbye."

"Is that right?" Sasuke responded, trying to hide the surprise in his voice. "And why would Sharingan no Kakashi leave Konoha? I expected you to become the Sixth, in all honesty."

"I'm hardly Sharingan no Kakashi anymore." The Copy Ninja lamented. "But that's neither here nor there. In truth I'm tired of the shinobi life, and fancy a change of pace. My father owns some farmland by a remote town I intend to take possession of."

"Farmland?" Sasuke snorted. "Who would have thought, Sharingan no Kakashi, a farmer? I suppose a more fitting name for you now would be Nojo no Kakashi (Kakashi of the Farm), eh Sensei?"

Kakashi chuckled at the joke, "Nojo no Kakashi sounds nice. I'd be honoured to be known by that title."

"I suppose the simplest things can often carry the most weight." Sasuke's lips twitched upwards. "Well, this may be our final goodbye then, huh?"

"Possibly, yes…" Kakashi drawled.

The two sat in a comfortable silence for several minute before Sasuke spoke up. "I'm sorry, Sensei."

"I know."

"I hope you find whatever you're looking for, Kakashi."

"To you as well, my cute little Genin."

Sasuke gave a small nod, and Kakashi got up and strolled out of the cell, sparing one last glance at his pupil.

 **Nojo no Kakashi**

' _When Naruto says he's going to do something, he sure as hell does it.'_ Kakashi shook his head bemusedly as he approached the gates of Konoha, seeing as quite literally the _entire_ village was there to send him off.

"Kakashi-Sensei!" A certain pink haired kunoichi called out from the crowd, rushing over to give a life draining hug. "I'm going to miss you so much Kakashi-Sensei! It just won't be the same without you!"

"Maa maa, Sakura." Kakashi smiled, patting his student on the back. "We'll see each other again. I'll be here for Naruto's inauguration, and Naruto knows how to find me, so the two of you can visit whenever."

"I'll still miss you." Sakura whispered, doing her best to hold back the tears.

"Ditto, kid." Kakashi replied sadly, letting go of the hug after a few more moments to continue on. He made his way through a literal sea of wellwishers, before finally getting to the gates to be faced with his hardest challenge yet, Might Gai.

"Kakashi!" The green ninja called out in his typical dramatic fashion. "While the flames of youth may have set for both you and I, the glorious dawn of Autumn has just begun! May we both find our eternal flames in our new and perilous journeys!"

Unsure of what to say, Kakashi decided to go with the heart. "I'll really miss you Gai."

The simple words struck a chord with his rival, and the bushy browed man turned into waterworks. "And I will miss you, my eternal rival! When our paths cross again, we must have the ultimate test of youth! If I lose, I swear I will do 600 laps around the village on my hands without stopping!"

"I'll hold you to that, Gai." Kakashi eye smiled one last time before giving one final wave to the villagers. One step at a time, Kakashi departed from Konoha, his old life. Sharingan no Kakashi was officially no more. A new, bold adventure was on the horizon. And, for the first time in recent memory, Kakashi wasn't so tired.

 **Until Next Time...**


	2. Ch 2: Welcome to Pelican Town!

**Don't own Naruto or Stardew. Crazy, ikr?**

 **Quick note: As of right now, the only change I'm making to the villagers of Stardew is I am making Maru much younger, somewhere around the age of 12. This age change will make more sense later on, but for now just roll with it ;)**

 **Chapter 2: Welcome to Pelican Town**

' _I hope they have a bookstore or a library in this place. I still need to find a new series. Oh well, in the meantime I always have Icha Icha.'_ Kakashi thought to himself as he sat near the front of the bus heading to his new home, a place called 'Pelican Town'. ' _These busses are quite nice, they could do with one in Konoha. Or at the very least a rail system. Perhaps I could influence Naruto to implement such a thing.'_

"You're not from the Valley, are you? You don't look familiar to me." The retired ninja was cut from his scheming by the middle aged blonde bus driver.

"You would be correct ma'am. My name's Kakashi Hatake, and I hail from Konoha. My father owned some farmland out here, and I decided to come and tend to it, sort of start fresh."

"Hatake? You're daddy's Sakumo, isn't he?" The bus driver replied, making Kakashi stiffen.

"He was, yes. You knew him? To be frank, I didn't know my father owned any land outside Konoha, and I don't think he ever had any time to come out here for an extended period of time." Kakashi said idly.

"Sure he did! He lived here full time for years! He passed away about 10 years ago." Pam barked a laugh as Kakashi paled.

"Surely you are mistaken? My father died many years ago. I was only 8 when my father… passed. That was 23 years ago." Kakashi replied, trying his damndest to remain calm.

"Well…" The bus driver turned briefly to get a look at Kakashi. "He certainly looked like you. I thought the grey hair was 'cuz he was old, but I 'spose that's a genetic thing, eh?"

"I am sure you must be mistaken." Kakashi shook his head, wanting desperately to remain in denial.

"I dunno, maybe. Don't remember much from the days Sakumo was around. I was out of a job ya see and I was hittin' the liquor quite heavily. I'd still ask around though, lil' Hatake."

Kakashi cringed at the nickname, but decided to ignore it for now. "I suppose I'll do that. Thanks for the information Miss… ?"

"Oh, sorry, it's Pam! I'm real bad at that, yappin' away without thinkin' of social conventions like that." Pam rambled.

"It is quite alright, Miss Pam. I find your company enjoyable." Kakashi eye smiled, though on the inside he was in turmoil. ' _A Sakumo Hatake with grey hair that looks like me. The odds that it wasn't my father are far greater than the odds that it was… But that would mean father faked his death? How could he do such a thing without telling me!? I need to get to the bottom of this.'_

"Thanks, y'know you're a pretty good listener yourself. Oh, look, we're almost there!" Pam exclaimed, taking Kakashi from his musings.

Kakashi looked up to find the bus was in some underground tunnel. Alarm bells immediately went off for the seasoned soldier. "What is this? Why have we gone under the ground?"

"Calm yourself lil' Hatake." Pam snorted. "They built this road here under the mountain as a shortcut. Instead of wasting time going over the damn thing, we can just go through it!"

"You people built a road through a mountain for a matter of convenience?" Kakashi repeated, flabbergasted. "That seems like a massive waste of time and resources!"

"Well, not all o' us are fancy schmancy ninja like you and your daddy!" Pam chuckled. "We can't leap over mountains in a single bound here, lil' Hatake."

"I see." Kakashi relented, although inside he still felt the whole thing odd.

After a few more minutes in the tunnel, the bus finally made its way back out into the sun where it reached its destination shortly after. "Final stop, Stardew Valley." Pam announced, although considering Kakashi was the only passenger, the announcement seemed redundant.

"I thank you for the ride Miss Pam, I hope to see you around." Kakashi bowed respectfully, before pulling out his wallet and handing her a stack of ryu.

"Sorry lil' Hatake, but we don't use ryu 'round here. We only use gold for currency. Not to worry though, you can go see ole' Lewis sometime to get it exchanged. Just make sure to pay me next time we see each other." Pam explained gruffly.

"Ah, apologies Miss Pam, thank you for your generosity. Until we meet again." Kakashi inclined his head once more before stepping off the bus, which subsequently took off again. Before Kakashi could even take a moment to exhale, however, someone new rushed up to him.

"You must be Kakashi! Hi, I'm Robin, the local carpenter. Mayor Lewis got your letter a few days ago and the two of us have been preparing for your arrival ever since. In fact I believe the Mayor is at your farmhouse right now straightening up a few things." The redhead-now known as Robin-shook Kakashi's hand vigorously. Just from a quick glance, Kakashi could tell Robin was perhaps a dozen years his senior, quite outgoing, and fairly strong for a civilian.

"Maa maa, you didn't need to get anything prepared just for me. I am more than capable of doing those sorts of things myself. But in any case I thank you." Kakashi replied.

Much to Kakashi's confusion, Robin gave him a foreign look for several long seconds. "Right… Anyways follow me!"

Kakashi did as he was told, using the leisurely stroll to get a good look at his surroundings. In many ways it reminded him of Konoha, the valley was populated by a fair amount of trees, mostly oak, pine, and maple. While the trees were not nearly as dense as the Land of Fire, it was still nice to be in a somewhat familiar landscape. The temperature was far milder than the blistering humidity of Konoha as well, which in Kakashi's book was a welcome change.

"Say, the bus driver, Miss Pam, mentioned my father, Sakumo Hatake, living here for quite some time. You didn't know him, did you?" Kakashi brought up nonchalantly.

Robin immediately stopped in her tracks and paled considerably. "So, you are Sakumo's son then? I couldn't help but notice the similarities, but I wasn't told your surname, so I couldn't be sure. Yes I knew your father quite well. Or at least I thought I did, I had no idea he had a son who was a ninja."

"Well, it seems as though my father was quite the secretive person, because I didn't know he even lived here, it appears as though he faked his death in Konoha-"

"He WHAT!?" Robin exclaimed, the raw anger in her voice throwing Kakashi for a loop.

"Um… Yeah, it seems so. I thought he killed- I thought he passed away around 23 years ago. But it seems as though that wasn't true." Kakashi sighed, beginning to wonder if maybe coming to this valley wasn't the best idea.

"That son of a… He never said any of that to me." Robin grumbled.

"You seem to have been friends with my father." Kakashi stated the obvious. "Perhaps once I get settled in you could tell me about him over some tea?"

This seemed to calm Robin down a bit. "That sounds nice. You can come over to my place whenever, I'll introduce you to my family."

Kakashi simply nodded to this as they approached a small shack of a building surrounded by a large overgrown field full of weeds, debris, and trees. "Welcome Kakashi, to Hatake Farm!"

Kakashi, not being one for subtlety, immediately spoke his mind. "I thought you said the farm was straightened out?"

Robin giggled at the frankness, "We sorted out the house, not the farm Kakashi. Sorting this mess out would have taken the Mayor and I weeks, let alone the few days notice we got from you. I'm a carpenter, not a miracle worker."

"Well I think I see what needs to be done first then." Kakashi said, more to himself than Robin. "A few Fireball Jutsus could level this field quite easily."

"Oh no, none of your crazy Shinobi magic!" Robin admonished. "You're dad learned his lesson the hard way, trying to use some lightning magic to catch fish easier. Wound up eradicating several entire species native to the valley!"

"Maa maa, I would be careful." Kakashi defended. However, seeing the unyielding glare Robin was giving, the silver haired man eventually caved. "Very well, I won't use any jutsu. This will take a lot of time to clear out by hand though."

"Not to worry! The Mayor gave you some basic tools to get started, and I'll be more than happy to help a few days a week, for the right price." The redheaded carpenter grinned predatorily.

"Once I get my ryu exchanged, we can talk business." Kakashi concluded, deciding to give the inside of his new place a look. However, before he could reach the door, it swung open, revealing a fairly old man with a curly grey mustache and a brown cap. At the sight of Kakashi, his eyes grew wide.

"Wow, it's like Sakumo has returned from the dead." The old man thought aloud.

"That's hardly appropriate, Mr. Mayor!" Robin scolded. "Kakashi, meet Mr. Lewis, Mayor of Pelican Town. Mayor Lewis, this is Kakashi _Hatake_. It seems you left out that our new resident happens to be Sakumo's son when you enlisted my help to straighten out his old farmhouse."

"Er, nice to meet you, Mr. Mayor." Kakashi greeted awkwardly, feeling incredibly self conscious.

"It is splendid to meet you, Mr. Hatake!" Mayor Lewis returned enthusiastically, his forlorn look having evaporated. "Pelican Town rarely ever gets new residents, so we are all excited to have you join us!"

"That's very kind, sir." Kakashi robotically replied, before an air of suspicion washed over him. "Say, you have a set of keys for this house?"

Lewis began to sweat. "Um, well, your father and I were friends, and so he gave me a set of keys for emergencies."

"I see. It's nothing against you sir, but may I have them please? I mean we really don't know each other yet, and I quite like my privacy." Kakashi extended his right hand.

Lewis frowned. "I hardly think that's necessary, Mr. Hatake. Everyone in Pelican Town can vouch for my trustworthiness, I would never do anything nefarious…"

Not feeling like getting into a fight on his first day, Kakashi dropped his hand and sighed. "Very well, but just know like my father, I am a highly skilled ninja, so I ask no one enter my new home from now on without my permission."

Lewis gulped audibly before relief washed over his aged features. "Splendid! In any case, your set of keys is on your bed stand. I took the liberty of getting you some basic farming equipment in that chest over there. Inside you'll find an axe, a hoe, a scythe, a pickaxe, and a watering can. You can buy crops over at Pierre's General Store in town on every day except Wednesdays. You can put any crops you grow in this box here and I'll pick them up in the night and pay you accordingly."

"Wednesday? That seems a strange day to close a store. Why not Saturday or Sunday?" Kakashi questioned, once again befuddled by this new land.

"Well, Joja Mart is open every day, but…" Lewis shared a meaningful look with Robin. "It's better to shop at Pierre's, his products are of a much higher quality."

"Whatever." Kakashi shrugged, moving his way past Lewis. "Say, all my currency is in ryo still. Miss Pam the bus driver said you could exchange it for the local currency, that true?"

"Ah yes! Swing by my home sometime tomorrow and we can do just that!" Lewis enthused. Kakashi tilted his head, unsure what was so exciting about exchanging currencies.

"Very well then. Thank you both for your assistance in getting me settled. I'll surely see you both sometime soon, but if you excuse me, I've had a long journey and would appreciate a nice sleep." Kakashi said, making his way to try and shut the door on the two.

"A smashing idea! Fantastic! Welcome to Pelican Town Mr. Hatake, and I can't wait to see this farm blossom once again under your command!" Lewis gushed, oblivious to the slowly closing door.

"Right." Kakashi finished, slamming the door all the way, before promptly sliding down to his knees. "I have a bad feeling about this… God I hope they have a bookstore or library here."

 **Until next time...**


	3. Ch 3: Awkward Greetings

**Chapter 3: Crops, Creepers, and Awkward Greetings**

' _I haven't slept that well in years.'_ Kakashi smiled to himself as he lumbered out of bed the next morning. ' _While some of the people here are a little strange, I sure feel relaxed. And really, when you think about it, who am I to judge strangeness… What the hell?'_ The retired ninja's thoughts were cut short when he noticed the poorly wrapped present right in the centre of his room.

"This was most certainly not here when I fell asleep last night." Kakashi approached the present warily, using his training with the tracking hounds to detect any potential traps or poisons. "Seems to be alright." Kakashi concluded after several moments of examination. "Guess I just have to open it."

After hastily tearing the packaging apart, a frown appeared on Kakashi's face. The present contained fifteen seeds for a plant called a Parsnip, and a handwritten letter that read: ' _Hope this helps you get started! -Lewis'_

"He couldn't have left this _outside_ in the mailbox like a normal person?" Kakashi complained, throwing the note in the trash bin. "I can't believe I didn't sense him coming in here, either. I shouldn't let my most basic ninja skills grow rusty. Perhaps some rudimentary traps around the farm would be a good idea." He nodded to himself, before remembering Robin's reaction to 'ninja magic'. "I mean, traps are completely different than jutsu. I'm sure my father had traps set up when he was here… In any case I guess I should get these seeds planted, don't know if they expire or anything…"

And so, Kakashi started his day clearing out a small area right in front of his farmhouse, hoeing up the dirt, and planting and watering the 15 parsnip. "What the heck even is parsnip?" Kakashi mumbled to himself as he worked. "It must be a crop native to this valley. Hopefully that means it's rare so I can make some cash off it. I only got 5,000 ryo on me and I'm still unsure what the exchange rate is for their currency."

Kakashi finished his little crop by 8:30 in the morning, giving him plenty of time for his other errands. He began to talk to himself as he strolled into Pelican Town, Icha Icha in hand. "I need to stop by Lewis' place and get the local currency before anything. The quicker I get out of that creeps house the better. Then I guess I can stop by that Pierre store they mentioned and get some groceries and more seeds to plant. After that I guess I should just get my bearings around this place, maybe introduce myself to a few people… God I hope they're not all like Lewis." Kakashi involuntarily shuddered at the thought of Lewis in his home last night without his knowledge. Yes… Traps needed to be set.

Arriving in Pelican Town, Kakashi discovered a new problem. ' _I don't have a map, how the hell am I supposed to find Lewis?!'_ And so Kakashi wandered aimlessly for a few minutes, hoping to find someone to speak to. He finally got lucky as he bumped into a man a few years his junior wearing a blue 'Joja Mart' uniform walking down the road.

"Excuse me, my name's Kakashi, and I am new around here. Who might you be?" The ninja greeted, extending his arm for the newcomer to shake.

"I'm Shane… Why are you talking to me?" The now identified Shane responded gruffly, ignoring the extended hand.

Seeing the handshake wasn't going to happen, Kakashi put his hand back in his pocket, the other hand still holding Icha Icha. "Well, I was wondering if you could point me in the direction of Mayor Lewis' residence?"

Shane gave a look that screamed 'kill me' before slowly pointing at the house immediately behind Kakashi. "It's right there, idiot. Now, leave me alone, I have to get to work…"

"Well, it was a true pleasure to meet you!" Kakashi chirped sarcastically as the grocery store worker clomped off, clearly in no real rush to get to his job. Shaking his head, Kakashi turned to Lewis' home and knocked on the door. "Mayor Lewis? It's Kakashi Hatake. I'm here to exchange my ryo."

"Just a minute." Lewis called distantly, most likely from the washroom. Kakashi predictably used this time to dive back into his Icha Icha. Countless minutes later the door finally opened and Kakashi was made a witness to the horrifying sight of Mayor Lewis in nothing but a bathrobe. "Ah, Mr. Hatake! Please come in! I'm making eggs!"

Kakashi shifted uncomfortably. "Uh, I can wait until you finish getting ready for the day, Mr. Lewis. I certainly wouldn't want to-"

"Nonsense!" The scantily clad Mayor persisted, grabbing Kakashi's arm and dragging him inside, sitting him down in the kitchen. "Just give me a second to finish the eggs and we can exchange. How do you like your eggs?"

"Um…" Kakashi started, trying to look anywhere but at Lewis. "Overeasy for me, please."

"You sure? You look like a poached man to me!" Lewis chuckled jovially.

"Um…" Kakashi stared intently at the ceiling tiles. "Sure, whatever sir, I'm not picky."

"Right Oh! One Lewis' Special Poached Eggs, coming up!" The Mayor exclaimed theatrically, bounding to the stove. "It's nice of you to come by Mr. Hatake, I don't often get visitors."

"Is that right…" Kakashi replied dryly, now looking at the fridge magnets. "Like I said, once I get my ryo exchanged, I'll be out of your hair."

"What little hair I have left!" Lewis replied, barking a laugh at his own joke.

"Sure." Kakashi forced a chuckle to be polite. Luckily for Kakashi, Lewis stayed quiet for a few minutes until the eggs were done, in which he passed a plate to Kakashi, and took a plate for himself.

"So, you're from one of those big fancy Ninja Villages, eh?" Lewis asked, once again trying the aloof ninja's patience.

"Yes, I was born and raised in Konoha." Kakashi responded, giving all his attention to his egg.

"That right… Sakumo never said which ninja village he came from. Real secretive guy, Sakumo was… Not the most talkative." Lewis sighed, recalling the deceased resident.

"Maa maa, don't take it personally Mayor Lewis, my father was always on the quiet side." Kakashi lied, not wanting to witness Lewis sulk.

"That's good! I just thought he didn't like me!" Lewis grinned, happy at the new information. A few excruciating minutes later, both Kakashi and Lewis finally finished their eggs, and Lewis stood up to clean the dishes. "Alright, let's get down to business. You said you're carrying ryo on you correct?" At Kakashi's affirmative nod, Lewis continued. "The current exchange rate for ryo is 1 gold for every 10 ryu. How much ryu do you have on you?"

"5,000, sir." Kakashi quickly replied.

"So that would be…" Lewis spaced out, trying to do the math in his head.

"500 gold sir. It would be 500 gold." Kakashi cut in, not wanting to witness the Mayor's math skills.

"Ah, quite right!" Lewis exclaimed, rushing off into another room. A few moments later he returned with a sack of gold, tossing it to Kakashi. "Here ya go! And the ryo, please?"

"Thanks, Mayor Lewis." Kakashi politely replied, giving the mayor his wallet full of ryo. "Well, I must be going, lots to do. You don't know where I can get a map of the region, do you?"

"Pierre should have some in stock at his store. It's northwest of here, fairly close. Can't miss it." Lewis rambled.

"Well, I'll be leaving then, goodbye, Mayor Lewis." Kakashi waved as he left, internally sighing in relief that he made it through that encounter alive and well.

 **Nojo no Kakashi**

"Welcome to Pierre's! How may I help… Ah, a new face! Who might you be, my friend?" Kakashi was immediately greeted by a bespeckled, kind looking man, standing behind the store's counter.

"Ohaiyo." Kakashi waved. "Name's Kakashi, I just moved into Hatake Farm down the way and was lookin' to make a few purchases."

"Excellent! Welcome to Pelican Town, Farmer Kakashi! Please take a look around! My name's Pierre, by the way." Pierre greeted, waving his hand to his stock.

"That is very much appreciated sir. I'm going to need some cooking supplies, a map of the town, and some seeds to plant if you have any." Kakashi listed off the top of his head.

After quickly hooking Kakashi up with a town map and basic cooking supplies, Pierre led the retired ninja to a shelf full of a variety of seeds. "As you can see, Farmer Kakashi, we have a wide selection of seeds here at Pierre's. If I may make a suggestion though, considering Spring only started in these parts a few days ago, I'd pick between potatoes, cauliflower, and green beans."

"Hm.." Kakashi began to mull over the selection, reading on the label the prices and harvest time for each. "The fact that the beans regrow may be a boon. I will purchase as many beans as this gold can buy." Pierre stumbled back as Kakashi handed over his sack of gold.

"A wise choice, Farmer Kakashi!" Pierre practically squealed, ecstatic to have a new customer making such a large purchase. "Here's your seeds, and if that's everything, you have a nice day!"

After pocketing the green bean seeds, Kakashi nodded his head before heading for the exit. Before he could reach the door though, it swung open, and a purple haired girl in her early twenties rushed in. ' _Hm… Her physical appearance reminds me of Yugao, but she certainly has no chakra control…'_

"Oh, sorry! Didn't mean to rip the wind out of the room!" The purple haired girl apologized upon seeing the new face. "Hi, I'm Abigail! You're the new farmer, then?"

Determining her to be friendly, Kakashi shook her hand. "Yes, I'm Kakashi. Nice to meet you Ms. Abigail. I must be on my way though."

"Alright then…" Abigail replied, giving Kakashi an unidentifiable look. "Well, if you're into video games, I got a Super Nintendo in my room and am always looking for help in Contra!"

Completely perplexed by most of the words coming out of her mouth, Kakashi decided to just roll with it. "Sounds nice. Perhaps I will sometime. Goodbye." Before any more plans could be made, the silver haired man escaped.

 **Nojo no Kakashi**

"What in the hell is a Super Nintendo… I am not sure that I want to find out. If she's looking for help in it, it could be some sort of perverse toy…" Kakashi muttered to himself as he strolled down the empty streets to his farm. Something to his right caught his eye, and upon looking up he saw three new people he had yet to meet. Two children were playing on a playset, a boy and a girl. The boy had a shade of red hair akin to Gaara, and the girl had dark hair with a bow tied on the top. The two were being supervised by a redheaded woman who looked to be a year or two younger than Kakashi. ' _Their mother, perhaps? Suppose I should introduce myself.'_ After some more pep talking, Kakashi made his way over the the three and waved his hand lazily. "Hi there. Name's Kakashi, I'm new in town. Who might you all be?"

Both females stood frozen like a deer in the headlights at his sudden greeting. The little boy had no issues piping up though. "Hi! I'm Vincent! My mom says I shouldn't talk to strangers, but you seem cool! You wanna play with us? Four people could make the teams even!"

It was now Kakashi's turn to freeze awkwardly, having only expected a polite greeting so he could go on his way. "Well, I could hardly interrupt your playtime. And I'm sure your mother here would find it inappropriate."

This statement seemed to stun the adult redhead even more, and Vincent once again spoke up. "She's not our mom. That's just Penny, she's Jas' and I's tutor! My mom's name is Jodi, and Jas lives with her Auntie Marnie!"

Chuckling good naturedly, Kakashi rolled with it. "Maa maa, I meant nothing by it. My apologies Ms. Penny, I shouldn't have assumed such a thing."

Finally finding her speaking voice, Penny hummed softly. "It's okay, I'm sorry…"

Looking at the redhead stare down at her feet awkwardly, Kakashi felt as if he had bungled this entire introduction. Trying to save himself, he thought of some small talk. "So, that must mean there's no school here if you two need a tutor. In the village I came from, I used to teach kids as well in practical skills."

At this Penny looked up at Kakashi, interest pooling in her bright green eyes. "You used to teach children? What village did you come from? How many kids?"

Happy his diversion seemed to have worked, Kakashi replied. "I lived in Konoha actually. I taught three kids and got to see them grow into strong, brilliant young adults. It was very rewarding. One of my students is now training to become the leader of Konoha."

Any interest Penny had seemed to evaporate at the mention of Konoha. "You're a ninja then? You taught little children how to be spies and killers?"

Seeing this is not where he wanted the conversation to go, Kakashi tried his best to recover. "I would hardly say killers, in a perfect world the skills we taught would be just for self-defense and the protection of others."

Not looking satisfied with his answer, Penny quickly grabbed Vincent and Jas before walking away at a quickened pace. "Good day, Mr. Kakashi."

"Well that could have gone better." Kakashi sighed, putting his left hand in his pocket to fish out his Icha Icha. "That kid seemed to like me though. Kinda reminded me a bit like Naruto… Oh well, perhaps I should keep my shinobi upbringing to myself from now on, it hasn't seemed to create any pleasant situations so far." And with that, Kakashi slunk back to his farm to plant his new beans and prepare for the next day.


End file.
